goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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