In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Randomize
