I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She told me I should be a condom model.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Randomize
