Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
