Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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