I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
