"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize