im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
