Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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