My cat gives me a boner
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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