every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
