The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
