twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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