Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
