a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
