woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
