Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
