i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
