you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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