Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
there is glitter all over my balls
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
