She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
