Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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