i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
