why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
