Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
