so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
