Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
