i just google imaged poop.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's rum buckets o'clock
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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