So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
not ubering you a puppy
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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