omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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