It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
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