Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
