Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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