Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
