So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I could fuck to npr.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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