i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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