he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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