I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My vagina is officially offended.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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