Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Farmville is her only friend.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
