i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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