it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.