the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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