69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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