We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
