she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
