So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
