No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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