sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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