I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
