dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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