So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I need moral support for this bender
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
