remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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