I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
