Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
