We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
