I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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