I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
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I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
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Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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