I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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