It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
