Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
