i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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