Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
