I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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