From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
