I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
