Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
